Everyone has happened to plan outings with their friends or, in general, with real human beings to go “out there”, wear comfortable shoes and do something that is commonly understood as… fun.
But then evening comes and we realize that we would like nothing better than to stay at home, in our favorite armchair reading the latest book we bought. Bustle has compiled the fifteen most incredible excuses readers use to stay home and read on.
The most used excuses when you feel like staying at home and reading
“I’m really tired”
It’s the first excuse that comes to mind. Especially when you know you want to stay up all night finishing a book about dragons, probably. If you can, you will also add a nice yawn that is realistic enough to be convincing.
“My friend is going through a really difficult time”
And it doesn’t matter if the friend in question is actually an imaginary friend. It is simply good to point out that there is a friend who needs you and you will support him.
“I don’t feel too well”
A sudden illness is, perhaps, the oldest trick in the apology handbook. Actually… it might not even be an excuse. In short, it is still your feverish need to finish the last chapter of the book you are reading. It’s some kind of disease, isn’t it? It’s clear you can’t go to your friend’s cat’s birthday party. Instead, stay home and read until you feel better.
“Hello the nausea”
Of course, if your friends are true friends they will probably also be friends who understand you. And, at the slightest hint of illness, they’ll probably bring you chicken soup or something like that, too. But remember that to be more convincing, you can invent better diseases.
“I went hard on it”
No one, of course, will find out that the only thing that went heavy last night was reading Jane Austen. But it’s fun to let your friends think you’ve had a massive hangover, even though you’re indulging in timeless tea and romance instead.
“I have to work tonight”
Obviously, to make the excuse plausible you need to establish some sort of routine in the previous months – making it clear that the work is wild and unpredictable. Then, you will be able to behave responsibly for your boss. And it’s not necessary for others to know that your boss is Arundhati Roy.
“Tomorrow I start work early”
Actually, you didn’t know either, but you have a very important business meeting tomorrow. Or an important exhibition at work, or a rehearsal in the first few hours of class that you forgot about. That’s why you need to go to bed early. It’s not at all because of that new collection of works you’ve placed on your bedside table.
“I’m broke”
It’s good to say, to be honest. It’s just that, in reality, most of the time you’ve spent a lot of money on the purchase of books. And you need to save money to buy more books. So obviously you can’t afford to see the little cousin’s show and you’ll have to stay at home behind your fortress of books.
“My wallet/phone/ID was stolen from me”
It’s something we all inevitably think about but we have to be careful not to get caught.
“Oh, was it that night?”
It’s always the best excuse; have the air of someone who, for one reason or another, tends to be careless.
If you don’t mind hurting other people’s feelings, going by the guy who can’t even write down his schedule is always a great way to hang out with your favorite fictional characters.
“The car is in the workshop/the trains don’t run”
Attributing the cause of our ills to means of transportation usually always works and also spares us the curses of others. And, in fact, it is all up to fate if we are forced to stay at home to devote ourselves to our books.
“I totally forgot my mom/brother/dietician is in town tonight”
This isn’t even necessarily a lie. You simply state that someone you know is in town and you can go on not dating them to stick with your favorite characters.
“I have a family/pet problem”
The emergency excuse doesn’t have to be detachable. But on the other hand, if it’s an emergency, no one can say anything, both for the unpredictability and for the importance of the excuse.
“Start crying”
Nine times out of ten bursting into tears will save you from any possible plan already laid out. Of course, this might shock your friends. In that case, you will have to arrange to go home and continue reading your book.
“Honestly, I’d rather stay at home and read”
Of course, there’s always the more dangerous option: honesty. If your friends are book-lovers too, they will surely understand you. Use it when you are certain of the tolerance of others and of those of whom you are aware can accept your preferences.
