Why did you want to tell it now, after years of implying that you did not have children by choice (something, on the other hand, very respectable) ? We can understand it and inquire about what has gone through her head to reveal her infertility problem at age 53, when it seems that she has definitely abandoned the idea of being a mother. First, for accompanying all those women who have experienced or are experiencing a situation like yours.
We only intuit the second reason, but it could be as real as the fact that we women live under pressure regarding maternity (so that we become mothers and, of course, so that in a very short time it is not noticed that we have been) such that it has wanted to shut up many mouths by offering incontestable statements.
Do a little memory: if you are not a mother and you are over 30, how many times have you been asked when you plan to have children? If you only have one, have they already told you that what are you waiting for to have the couple? What’s more, if you already have two, why have you ever been suggested that when the third? These questions come without taking into account the personal , professional or health situation of each woman. Out of education, almost all of us tend to respond evasively or downplaying it even though there is a terrible story of infertility or heartbreak behind it.
You answer as neutrally as you can despite the fact that they are getting into a private matter like few others although you would love to answer with a ‘look, I have spent all my money, energy and mental health on 10 failed fertility treatments’. But you shut up Or ‘it’s that I’m separating from my partner because he doesn’t want to have children’. But you shut up It also crosses your mind to blurt out “I just had a miscarriage because the 6 week fetus had no heartbeat.” But you shut up Jennifer, however, has wanted not to shut up anymore .
The world has to stop asking women when they are going to have children. It is urgent. The reasons are so private, unique and respectableas a personal decision (why is it so difficult to understand?) or the impossibility for health, financial or any other reason. In these last cases there is usually associated a tragedy that you do not usually want a stranger -or close one, it does not matter- to remind you. What if tabloids in all languages are reminding you of her, as happened to Jennifer Aniston? Imagine that you are in your umpteenth in vitro fertilization cycle, bloated, with revolutionized hormones, insecure, hopeless… and some paparazzi photograph you on the beach for the media to ensure that you are pregnant. That has been the life of the star since someone considered that she was of childbearing age.
“All these years and years of speculation…” he tells Allure . It was very hard . “I was undergoing IVF, I was drinking Chinese teas, I was really giving it my all. How I wish someone had told me ‘Freeze your eggs, do yourself a favor’. You just don’t think so here I am today. This ship has already set sail for me, ”she concludes.
Please, let’s stop adding more suffering to suffering . If a woman does not have children, she will have her reasons and one of them can be a terrible story like the one Jennifer Aniston hid and many others around the world. And let’s remember that the well-being of that childless person is more important than satisfying our curiosity or putting the machinery of judging others to work.
